Connection with your partner
Just recently Esmeralda and I got into an argument, the details of which are inconsequential to this blog. However, we were bickering back and fourth about something that was truly meaningless and we both refused to let it go. Eventually, things boiled over and it turned into a full on shouting match. Fortunately, the kids came in and we quickly pulled our heads out of our respective asses long enough to see that we were both being over the top. Lately, work for both of us has been at an all time high level of BS. It seems that with the heat people are acting increasingly irritating and reckless. Both Es and I are in leadership roles so this ultimately ends with us having to pick up the slack and throw ourselves into work. Time being the finite resource that it is, our attention and focus naturally shifts away from each other to focus on solving the problems of the world. This inevitably leads to our connection with each other fading. We were showing up and going through the motions of adulting and spousing (ya, I made that word up lol) but we weren’t being there for each other in a way that fostered a connection. Unfortunately, this is not the first time that this has happened. Fortunately, we know exactly how to reverse it.
Just because we lost our connection doesn’t mean that it is gone for good. In fact, it poses an opportunity that both of us absolutely love to take advantage of! COUPLES TIME! Over the years Es and I have learned that when we start to fight over meaningless crap it is because we are not connecting with each other in the way that we should be. As adults and parents, we have responsibilities outside of our relationship. Sometimes we get a bit too caught up in those other responsibilities and take too much of our attention away from each other. (If this sounds familiar to you, don’t worry it is completely normal. We all get caught up in the race a bit from time to time. The key is to recognize it and repair it before it sows unnecessary hardship in your relationship.) So how do we reverse it? We take some time, perhaps a weekend if possible or maybe just an evening out, just for ourselves. We will get someone to watch the demons and go and spend time just for us. We will go for dinner or a drive and we just talk about the things that are top of our minds. Sometimes that is us, other times it is work or the other frustrations that are ultimately distracting us from our relationship. The point is, we don’t overcomplicate it with some farfetched and overly mushy crap that some PhD wrote in a book. We just allow for the time that we need to reconnect. Or goal is to simply cut out all other distractions and just focus on each other. That simple act of giving each other our undivided attention is what we need to remind us of why we love each other and rekindle the connection that had faded.
Now this is not to say that all of those other things priorities in our lives are unimportant. They most certainly are. However, for Es and I, we do not intend on ever calling it quits. We committed to each other and have grown together since we were kids. We were “Us” before the kids, before the careers before the bills and the stress. When the kids are out of the house, the mortgage is paid off and the careers are over the only thing that will remain is “US”. So it is of vital importance that we consistently nurture our relationship with frequency and sincerity. If we fail to do that, it is very likely that there will not be an “Us” when it comes time to finally enjoy it. I also want to point out that the need to periodically reconnect is completely normal. No couple will stay perfectly connected 100% of the time. Every so often every couple needs to take a little time to hit the reset button and reconnect with each other.
At the end of the day, we all need to have a little time carved out for just us. Couple time is vital to a healthy relationship. It is because of this undeniable fact that Es and I have decided to pivot our business to primarily cater to Couples instead of families. We will, of course, continue to offer family sessions, primarily for those couples that have come to us to help them reconnect through one of our Couples Photography sessions. However, we want to help other couples strengthen their bond to each other just as Es and I have done time and time again. Our sessions are designed to carve out a little time just for you and your partner. We will guide you through a journey to find reconnection and create fond memories that you can look back on with joy and love. Additionally, we will offer Couple Photography sessions that focus on milestones in the life of a couple, such as engagements and anniversaries. Ultimately, our goal is to help couples in and around Seattle to connect with each other and celebrate the love that they share and the lives they have built. So if that sounds like something you might be interested in we would love to speak with you! Please reach out to us HERE.
How do you like to spend your couples time? What times do you have to help couples reconnect with each other? Please let me know in the comments!
-Dan
