Authenticity in Life and Photography
For years, photography was thought of as being very formal and posed. Mom would schedule the session at JC Penny and do all of the shopping to get the clothes for the family portrait. She wanted that yearly update to the family photo to hang over the mantle for all to see. As the session drew closer she would begin to get overprotective of the kids, not wanting to have any little bump or bruise, especially on the faces, of any of the kids. Finally, the day of the session would arrive. Mom would have all of the clothes pressed and laid out for everyone and would make all of the final touches on everyones wardrobe to make sure it was just right. The youngest would immediately wipe snot on their shirt, Mom’s stress level would rise. The family then would jump in the car and head over to their session. By this point Mom had built the session out in her mind to such a high standard that the only possible out come was that the actual session wouldn’t live up. This of course led to hushed threats under Mom’s breath as to what would happen if you didn’t “smile right”, Mom’s stress level would rise further. Dad would become increasingly irritated at the whole thing, that he didn’t want to deal with in the first place, leaving Mom’s stress level to rise further still. Then the kids would start to lose patience, and the very little interest they had in the situation would slip right tough their tiny fingers. Then, Mom’s stress level would implode and all hell would break loose. If your family was anything like mine, what followed could only be described as a scene out of a National Lampoon’s Vacation movie. Mom would completely loose it, the photographer, panicked, would be doing everything they could to hold on to what little control they had left and Dad at some point would just throw his hands up and walk out, ultimately making the entire situation worse for everyone else. If Mom was lucky she would end up with one photo where, other than the pained expression on one kid’s face (from being pinched into compliance by Mom), everyone looked halfway decent but definitely not what she had wanted.
Hopefully for most of you that was just entertaining and in no way relatable. For everyone else, I know… I feel you… all we can do is look back and laugh and make sure that we do it differently. So, what was the point of that whole story? The point is that, back in the day, Mom was trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. No matter how hard she tried, and how beautiful her intentions were, it wasn’t going to fit. The problem was one of inauthenticity. Mom was looking for that photo that everyone else had, where everyone was just perfect and smiling and adorable and heartwarming and and and exactly the opposite of the the beautifully imperfect mess that was their life. What she wanted was SOMEONE ELSE’S family portrait. An image that, while very beautiful, was not in keeping with who they were as a family.
That begs the question, “What did they need to do to get their perfect picture?” BE THEMSELVES!!! They needed to be themselves, in all their hot mess glory (perfect descriptor for my perfectly imperfect family). They needed a photographer that wanted to be up and active to chase the kids and to run and play and engage and laugh and joke and just understand that the life that their family had made was perfectly imperfect and that was, well… perfect. They needed to get images of the kids leaping off the top of a jungle gym, sliding down the slide upside down and backwards and screaming at the top of their lungs. They need images of Dad jumping off the swings with the girls and Mom patching him up when he inevitably hurt himself. They needed images that show WHO THEY ARE. Images that strike at the heart of what it is to be a part of their family. The laughter, the tears, the anger and wry jokes all included.
So, what I am am trying to impress upon you is this. You are, as you are meant to be, right now. Next year, you will be as you are meant to be for next year. Maybe different, maybe the same, perfect either way. Embrace it. Love it. Document it. Our lives are ever changing, especially those of us with younger children running about. However, don’t get misled into thinking that what you have today isn’t worthy of remembering or documenting. The lessons and struggles that we learn and fight through today ARE what shape us into who we will become in the future. So in that sense, it is vital to document it. If only to serve as a marker for how far you have come. Ultimately the point is, regardless of who you are and where you are at in life, just be authentic and true to who you are. Understand that you are already perfectly you, regardless of how much growing you have ahead of you. Just know that there are Photographers out there that specialize in recognizing and capturing the “perfectly imperfect”. *Shameless self promotion ahead- Esmeralda and I specialize in doing just that! We capture those “fleeting moments” that define the love you share with your family. If you’re in the the Greater Seattle area and want a perfectly imperfect session of your own, you can schedule your consultation with us HERE.
What do you all think? Do you relate to the “perfectly imperfect” family, who (*awkwardly stressed expression*) in no way is indicative of my childhood? Do you like the posed photos where everyone is looking at the camera smiling or do you like the images that show a snapshot of your lifestyle? What does your dream Family or Couple Photo Session look like? Please let me know in the comments!
-Dan
